Emotional intelligence

“I believe that therapists would be in much lower demand if humans had higher emotional access, acumen, skills, and expression—better awareness and understanding, especially with vulnerable emotions in general,” writes a psychiatrist in a recent column for Psychology Today magazine.

“In my experience, personally and professionally, most of us were never taught how to effectively manage our emotions—not in school, not at work, not with our peers, and not in our families. We’re told, especially men, to ‘calm down,’ ‘toughen up,’ or ‘don’t cry’ when a strong emotion arises, but rarely shown how to lean into emotions and what they’re actually for.

“Emotions aren’t problems to get rid of, as many frequently treat them as; they’re crucial signals meant to guide us to what matters most. And when we ignore, discard, suppress, repress (suppression is conscious while repression is not), and/or misunderstand them, we usually suffer much more than we need to.”

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“There are two fundamental emotions humans deal with in life—one is love, drawing us toward things, and the other is fear, pushing us away from things,” says Richard Jordan. “Fear is a debilitating thing; in John 14, the fear of men kept people from trusting and believing even when they saw the truth of God’s Word by seeing the Messiah in their midst!

“Romans 12:12 is in the context of how we relate to other Believers ([12] Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer) and verse 9 says, [9] Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

"In other words, the focus in our relationship with others is going to be on love. Let love be the real thing. Don’t ‘diss’ somebody when it comes to love. Be genuine.

“I John 4 is very clear: ‘If God so loved us we ought to love one another.’ Your love for others HAS to be based upon an understanding of God’s love for you. The reason the world can never love their fellow man . . . 

“I’m going to be continually, constantly in prayer, all for the sake of loving others, loving our enemies as we ought. This is how Christ is designed to become visible and more real, and frankly more convincing to those who are about us. His life becomes a tangible reality.

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“II Corinthians talks about that living epistle. The epistle of Christ written in your heart and that life of Christ living out through you.

“You see, grace isn’t just a theology, and what he’s saying here is, ‘This is the way you think through . . . that renewed mind thinks through how to deal with the issues of life.’

“Jesus said, ‘Let not your heart be troubled.’ What does your heart do? With a heart man believes. Then He says, ‘Neither be afraid.’

“Without having that turmoil down inside, you have the ability to just go, ‘Ahhh,’ and let it all hang out and relax inside; relax in the truth of God’s Word about who Jesus Christ is and what He’s accomplished.

“Why should you trust it?  Christ says, ‘Look at me; I’m trusting it!’

“He says in John 14:28, ‘Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.’

“Christ is saying, ‘You know why you ought to have your heart trust me and not be afraid? Because you’ve heard my Word!’

“He already told His disciples, ‘If you love me keep my commandments.’ 'I’m living in complete total dependence on the will of my Father,' is what He’s saying. Paul has a great phrase for that—he calls it ‘the faith of Christ.’

“Jesus Christ entered into a plan and an agreement with His Father about what He would do and said, ‘Now, my peace I leave you.’ He’s completely at peace. He has complete inner tranquility even though He knows the agony He’s going to face on the Cross.

"In fact, when He says in verses 30-31 (‘Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.

[31] But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence’), He’s saying in the vernacular of our day:

“ ‘Let’s git-er done! . . . Let’s get on with it! The Adversary, the prince of this world, has come to fulfill the conflict of Genesis 3:15 where the seed of the woman and the seed of Satan will be in personal hand-to-hand combat. That day has arrived, so let’s go!’

“Because He’s got nothing . . . ‘There’s no weakness in me at all; I’m ready to go.’

“He knows what the Scripture says is going to happen to Him and yet He doesn’t hold back. In Hebrews 12, it says, ‘Who for the joy that was set before him he endured the cross, despising the shame.’

 

“He had in His mind an understanding of what God had promised Him and believed it and confidently trusted in it. There’s no rebellion, no hesitation; He has that complete inner tranquility.

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“There’s a fascinating passage in Philippians 4: 9: 'Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.'

“You want the God of peace to be with you? What does that mean? Well, look at verse 7: ‘And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’

“Wouldn’t you get the peace of God from the God of peace? This is peace that BELONGS to the God of peace.

“When Paul talks in Philippians 4 about the ‘peace of God,’ that’s the peace that BELONGS to God. In Romans 5, he talks about ‘being justified by faith we have peace WITH God.’

"That’s the peace that God Himself has. God is at peace with His own will. He’s at peace with His own plans. He’s at peace with His own word. And God’s peace; that total tranquility and inner calmness over what He’s doing, He takes that and gives it to us when we trust Him.

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“By the way, when it talks about the peace WITH God and the peace OF God, Melchizedek was the king of righteousness and the king of peace. Righteousness is first, peace is second. Because peace can only be based on righteousness; things have to be dealt with righteously.

“James 3:17 tells Israel, ‘But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.’

“Isaiah 32 says, 'And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

[18] And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.' 

“Righteousness has to do with being right. God’s Word is right and I’m in relationship with it and the peace comes out of His righteousness.

“John 14: 27 is the great illustration of the peace OF God.  Jesus says, ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.’

“Jesus Christ is God in human flesh. Here’s God living in our humanity and He has complete and total peace—inner tranquility, inner calmness, a relaxed mental attitude in His heart that results in that faith, that total dependence on the Word of His Father.

“Philippians 2:5 says, ‘Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.’ This is a truth that Paul followers should be very clear about and should rejoice in.

"Paul goes on, ‘Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: [7] But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: [8] And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.’

“He made Himself of no reputation. Who did that to Him? He did it to Himself. Voluntarily, He took up a position and took upon Him the form of a servant. Though He’s equal with the Father, He chooses to function in relationship to the Father as a servant. Did He have to? No, He willingly chose to.

“The next verse says, ‘He humbled Himself and became obedient.’ What does a servant do? He does what his master, his lord, tells him to do. So when Jesus Christ says, ‘The Father is greater than I,’ it’s in relationship to Jesus Christ coming as a servant. What He’s doing is owning His place as a servant.”

“Paul says, ‘A spiritual transaction took place on a supernatural level inside of me, where I received His life and so that the life I now live, I live by the faith of the Son of God. I have His life and it’s Him living in me.’

“The way He does that is when I live in my flesh the way He lived in HIS flesh! How did He live? ‘Without the Father I can do nothing. The works I do, the words I speak, are the ones the Father gave me,’ and I just put my faith in the Father and I’m living the life He gave me.

“So how does Christ live in me? He lives in my flesh the way He lived in His own flesh, 2,000 years ago and faith is just the issue of depending. Whatever you depend on is going to control you. 

“The Lord Jesus Christ, my friend, is most magnified, most exalted, when we’re satisfied in life with Him and He’s enough. All the other stuff, even if we lose everything else, we’ve got Him and we’re still ahead.

“Paul said, ‘For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.’ To live is to know Christ and to die is gain because now I just get more intimacy with Him. I’ve heard that word defined ‘in-to-me-see.’ That’s really what it is.

“More and more there’s the ability to see into Him, and Him to see into me, the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord. In your life, when He is preferred above everything else, that’s how He’s cherished and demonstrated to be the treasure.

“When we’re satisfied with Christ, when we’re prizing Him, cherishing Him, treasuring Him as a prize, and His gain is our heart’s delight above all else, that’s what Paul means in Philippians 3:9 when he says:

‘[9] And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
[10] That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;