Be my phileo, O Romeo

I just came up the handicap ramp to my building, back from a jog on the lakefront, when I encountered a resident. I asked, in the course of our casual conversation, what he thought about the riots in Brazil. He said, “I think it’s all politics.” I responded, “It’s a very corrupt government. People are angry that they’re spending billions on the Olympics but are cutting basic services and increasing costs like for riding the bus.”

He said, “There’s two things I don’t discuss with people: religion and politics.” I said, “Those are two of my favorite things to talk about.” Then, in bringing up my affinity for studying the Bible,” He replied with, “It’s just another book written by a man. It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t understand people reading it over and over. That’s stupid.”

So, just another day in my world. It’s lonely out here! Just the other week, I had a co-worker of mine, who I’ve spent the last five years sharing Bible truth with, tell me she’d resorted to putting a St. Joseph statue in her bathroom as a good luck omen to find a buyer for her condo. And she’s not even Catholic!

While jogging, an old number from the Bee Gees came up on my iTunes song list. The lyrics go: “I ain't no vision, I am the man
Who loves you inside and out
Backwards and forwards with
My heart hanging out
I love no other way
What am I gonna do if we lose that fire?

Don't try to tell me it's all over
Can't hear a word I can't hear a line
No man could love you more
And that's what I'm cryin' for
You can't change the way I feel inside

You're the reason for my laughter and my sorrow
Blow out the candle I will burn again tomorrow
No man on earth can stand
Between my love and I
And no matter how you hurt me
I will love you till I die.”

This made me think of Jesus Christ’s use of the words “agape” and “phileo” to tell of His love. Just the other week Jordan gave a study on how most people misunderstand the words’ definition.

Scofield’s Notes, for one, says agape means “deeply loved” and is a word used for “divine love and the love which the law demands.” Phileo, he says, means, “I’m fond; a casual, friendly love.”

Of this interpretation, Jordan says, “That’s a bunch of hooey; I’m sorry. That’s not good Greek by itself, much less good Bible. The problem with saying that the third time (Jesus spoke to Peter) He used a different word and that that word is significantly different than the one He used the first two times is that you can’t say He said, ‘The third time,’ when it’s the first time He said it.

“If He said something the third time, than He had to have had the third time have said in essence what he just said two other times.

“In his dictionary, Bible scholar W.E. Vine goes down through describing the two words and he says two things. One, they are never used indiscriminately in the same passage. When I read that I say, ‘There are verses where they’re used as synonyms and that’s not an indiscriminate use but that’s a synonymous use.’

“Let me read you this definition: ‘The love that values and esteems. The thought of cherishing the object above all else. Of manifesting an affection characteristic of consistency.’

“Now that definition of cherishing the object above all else; that’s the definition generally ascribed to agape. Vines has it listed here as a definition of phileo. And you say, ‘Wait a minute, Brother Rick . . .’

“The answer is they are synonyms. Now a synonym is two different words that have basically the same meaning.

“Webster’s Dictionary of Synonyms and you get guys that argue about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. That’s what these guys argue in these kind of books. I get more fun out of that than watching Jay Leno because you got three guys arguing about something that any six-year-old on the street could look at them and blow them away about.

“But what dictionary synonyms do is give you the shades of meaning within words. And that’s why you have more than one word that means the same thing. Here are the synonyms for love: attachment, affection, devotion, fidelity, loyalty, adoration, worship, to adore, passion, fervor, ardor, enthusiasm, zeal. The verb form is ‘like, enjoy, dote, relish, fancy, adore, worship, idolize, cherish, treasure, value, prize, appreciate.’

“All those words mean the same thing, with just little shades of difference, not really a significant difference. To like something is to regard with favor. To love it is to strongly like; it’s an ardent attachment, devotion and loyalty. Affection is a warm tenderness of sentiment. To adore is to emotionally surrender to the charm and the attraction of the object of your love. Well, that’s the emotional part. To emote is to adore.

“If you can understand how English words can basically … you know, if you say, ‘I love you,’ and if you say, ‘I adore you,’ there’s a little bit of difference if you’re splitting hairs. But if you look at your wife and say, ‘I love you,’ and she looks back at you and says, ‘I adore you,’ as long as both of you said, ‘I love you, sugar,’ and ‘I adore you, sugar,’ you know you said the same thing because the ‘sugar’s’ in there.

“That’s what it is in these Greek words and if preachers have made such a drastic difference in them, well, then, shame on them. The difference isn’t that big in the Scripture and if you wanted to make some kind of a difference between them, agape denotes the cause of the love. Where the value and esteem comes from. Phileo is talking about the expression of the love, kind of a thing. The passion involved in it. That’s really what they’re glomming onto, but boy, when you make big differences between them and don’t make them synonyms, you know, if there’s a difference between Jesus saying, ‘Pete, do you adore me?’ and Peter saying, ‘You know I love you.’

“If there’s a big enough difference in that; a big enough difference to make all the difference preachers say, then He didn’t say it to him the third time and somebody’s wrong and the Holy Spirit was wrong when He wrote it down.”

*****

Just for fun I looked up the word “love” in a favorite synonyms dictionary I’ve used since my early 20s: “The Synonym Finder” by J.I. Rodale.

Some of the entries not named in Webster’s book, and separated by categories, include: adulation, mutual attraction, closeness, intimacy, true love, free love, love of one’s life, one’s all, rapport, affinity, concord, accord, harmony, friendliness, predilection, partiality, inclination, bent, penchant, proclivity, soft spot in one’s heart, mania, need, require, have to have.

I know I once wrote a big article for my blog delineating the nuances of agape and phileo. Since it’s not readily found in my file (I lost a lot of original entries when my laptop was stolen a couple of years ago) I will have to do some digging. Once I find it, I will post it.