As someone who
once wrote obituaries for the Elmira
Star-Gazette (I was bureau chief for Tioga Co., N.Y. and Bradford Co., Pa.)
I learned to appreciate the skill and loving touch that goes into capturing the life of someone who’s just died.
Among unforgettable
obits I’ve saved in a file over the years is Marina Berzins’, appearing in the Hartford
Courant.
The elderly Berzins, who came to the U.S. as a teenager, escaped her native Latvia during World War II,
along with her mother and older sister, to find refuge in a string of
displaced-persons camps run by the United Nations in the American sector of
Germany. Her father, a lieutenant colonel in the Latvian army, had been
arrested and sent to a Soviet labor camp in Siberia.
“Being a child, it was
absolutely fantastic,” Marina’s sister says in the obit, referring to
their life moving from camp to camp, where families lived together in large
ramshackle barracks rooms separated only by hanging blankets and with walls so
poorly constructed snow would drift through. “It was a great life, but not for
adults.”
Childhood memories from this
period included “playing in the woods, gathering berries and mushrooms and
(attending) classes taught by refugee teachers. There were piano lessons on one
out-of-tune piano, occasional ballet lessons, scout troops. Food was often
scarce (and egg was a great treat), and camp residents used to barter
cigarettes and chocolate from the aid packages for scarcer goods.”
The family arrived in
America with little money or education and no ability to speak English. Marina’s sister noted, “When you are children, things are not hard to adjust,
but for the older people it was much harder.”
Marina’s son, an artist,
recalled how his mother always considered herself fortunate: “She tried to
reinforce how lucky we were to live in a country like the United States.”
Marina’s daughter, a software
engineer at MIT, testified, “She instilled in me a sense of the importance of
education. You can make your own destiny if you work hard. Knowing how
difficult her life was, there was always a sense that things could be turned
around.”
A longtime friend said of Marina, “She was the ultimate optimist. Nothing bad ever happened. She was
fun to be with, and people liked to be around her.”
Unbelievably, Marina met her
second husband in a chance encounter at a local mall in the 1980s when he
instantly remembered her face from the U.N. camps of her war upbringing.
“She ran into Evarists Berzins,
a Latvian whom she had first known in one of the camps where she had spent her
youth,” read the obit. “He had once given her a ride on his bicycle handlebars
and had never forgotten her smile, her self-confidence and her beauty. He
called her by her nickname, Marite.”
*****
Life is lived in
your perception of reality and if you focus on what you have to be thankful
for, choosing to see the good in every personal situation, you’ll be better for
it.
The common theme that runs
through all forms of depression is self-pity.
“I don’t care what it is, where
it came from, or how it’s induced, depression always has an element of
self-pity in it,” Jordan says. “You know, your emotions have no intellect; no
thinking capacity of their own. They’re going to respond to what you’re
thinking as if that’s really what’s happening, and there’s a formula for
depression that’s as accurate and as consistent as anything in algebra or
geometry, and it starts with bad, erroneous thinking.
“When the problem, the injury,
or the insult comes, and they do come, you respond with disappointment. And if
you take an injury, insult, or rejection, plus anger, multiplied by self-pity,
you’ll get depression every time without exception. You’re on the road. It will
first be despair, and then it’ll be depression.
“And as long as
you’re thinking about it, brooding about it, remembering to remember
it—remembering to be hurt, angry, insulted and rejected—you get blinded by
self-pity, and you’re blinded to the resources God has provided for you. And
the difficulties you face get to be overwhelmingly large, and it becomes like
the (refrain) from Hee-Haw: ‘Gloom, despair and agony on me. Deep,
dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck
at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me.’
*****
“Unrealistic expectations and
misplaced dependencies represent the antithesis of grace.
“Realistic thinking is to
understand where you are in the program of God, who you are, and just what is meant
by the grace of God—to live in the reality of God’s grace to you in Christ, and
to have grace thinking dominate your life instead of the unrealistic thinking
of a performance system.
“When you don’t have grace
thinking, and you have unrealistic expectations, you’re not really thinking
about what God’s really doing; you’ve just got ideas of your own. And you have
misplaced dependencies. You’re trusting your sufficiency or someone else’s;
you’re walking in unbelief.
“Life’s a lot
tougher in its reality than most evangelicals and the Charismatics want you to
believe it is. If you think you’re just going to thank God for all the
(troublesome) things in your life, you’re nuts. I’m sorry. God never told you
to be grateful for all those things that come into your
life. He says in them, in all things, give
thanks. How do you do that? You look away from yourself to who God’s made you
in Christ.”
*****
“Whatever you depend on to give
you purpose and meaning and life, that’s what’s going to control you.
“Really the only real sin that
you constantly have to deal with is the sin of unbelief. The sin of not
trusting the sufficiency God has given you in Christ.
"All the other things—all
the sins of the flesh Paul names— adultery, fornication, uncleanness,
lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath,
strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings—all of
those are really symptoms of your lack of faith in the sufficiency of who God’s
made you in Christ.
“The way you cure depression is
not by focusing on the symptoms, it’s focusing on the source. The battle’s in
your mind, first and foremost.
“Imaginations are designed to
be programmed by our conscious mind and it’s the things in our imagination that
effect our emotions.
“The devil doesn’t program
them, you program them. Or you allow them to be programmed by the intake your
mind is having. They can be re-programmed, re-directed by your conscious
thinking. So you cast down all this uncontrolled involuntary thinking that
comes into your mind. Cast it down, ‘bringing into captivity every thought to
the obedience of Christ.’
“The way you re-program your
imagination is through the conscious application of sound doctrine. That’s the
objective of sound doctrine. And that’s the only way you’re going to control
what Paul calls our ‘vain imagination.’ ‘Vain’ means empty, useless thinking.
Not based on truth, but based on error.”
*****
“The radio has FM and AM dial and we can
choose which band we’re going to listen to:
“The one band is error, and it
says, ‘Worry and worry early.’ God says, ‘Be careful for nothing.’ Don’t be
anxious or worried about anything. Which station do you listen to? Truth or
error?
“God says He’s
perfected forever all those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus. How are you
going to get any better than that? You’re complete in Christ, ‘blessed with all
spiritual blessings in heavenly places.’ This is who God’s made you.
“Which are you
going to believe? You say, ‘But look at what I’ve done,’ and God says, ‘Yeah, I
know, look at what I did.’
“Where are you looking? What
station are you listening to? He says, ‘Reckon yourselves to be dead unto sin,
but alive unto God.’ ”
“Bottom line, godliness with
contentment is where it’s at. As Paul says, ‘I have learned, in whatsoever
state I am, therewith to be content.’
“You can’t worry and trust God
at the same time. So when you’re worrying, you’re not trusting God. It’s
impossible to be depressed and thankful at the same time. All you need to get
out of depression is to be thankful.
“Understand that neither
height, nor depth, or anything can separate you from the love of God and say,
‘I’m going to be thankful to God, in whatever happens, for who I am in Him.’
You bring those thoughts into captivity to the reality of truth, and that’s a
depression-buster. The path to freedom is first you decide you want to be free.”
*****
Jordan tells an inspirational
story of a blind teen-aged girl’s testimony at a Bible youth camp:
“She’d been blind from birth.
Had never seen the light of day. She’d heard the gospel and gotten saved. The
last day of youth camp, we were having a camp fire, and all the teens were
giving testimony for what they thanked God for.
“One was thanking Him for the
trees, and for getting him up that morning, and all that stuff, and somebody
was thanking God for this and that, and this young girl got up and said, ‘You
know, I want to thank God.’
“Everybody was
looking at her, thinking, ‘What could this blind girl be thanking God for?
Blind from birth and has to live all of life blind to all around her.’
“She said, ‘I’ve
been listening all week, and I’ve learned about how much God loves me. I’ve
learned what He’s done for me in Christ, and what a wonderful future He’s
assured me, and how He’s equipped me right now to live a resurrected life in
its details.’
“She added, ‘You
know, I thank God I was born blind. Because that means I have virgin eyes. The
first thing I’ll ever see is the one who loved me and gave Himself for me.’
“When I heard
that story, I thought, ‘You know, there’s a girl who’s got it!’ She’s so filled
with the love and grace of God that self-pity is turned to thanksgiving, turned
to joy unto a ‘peace that passeth all understanding.’ That’s how you have
victory every single day.”